Monday, October 5, 2009


The first one isn't too horrible compared to the second one. Are your eyeballs bleeding yet?

Monday, September 14, 2009

How do those legs feel?

Riding in shorts and half chaps seems to be a new trend, especially among teenage riders. Why is this?

It completely defeats the purpose of wearing gators. Sure, your shins are safe, but your knees and thighs are going to be chafed to hell within ten minutes of a posting trot. That is, if you're riding correctly and actually have a firm seat.

I remember the one time I wore capris and tennis shoes, and I have the scars to remind me of what an unpleasant experience it was and to never do it again.

I have not seen one person riding in shorts who had decent equitation. It's not bad enough that they can't ride to save their lives, but they have to LOOK like they don't know what they're doing, too!

I'm not sure what's going on in this photo. The rider's ass is sticking out and she's lying across the horse's neck like so many hunters do these days. She has a bad ducking problem. It looks like she's saying, "OMG look! There's something shiny down there! It's so pprreetty!!!"

Horse: "There's nothing there..." -_-'

See what I mean about all of them having bad riding skills?

Another annoying trend that makes me want to bang my head into a brick wall: riding in flip flops. If you are riding correctly, there is no way you could do this. Your feet would slip right out of your shoes and subsequently out of the stirrups.

This rider actually looks pretty good other than her lack of proper footwear. I understand if you forget to bring your boots or you lose them or something, but why would you ride without them? It's worth the trip back home. Scratch that -- why would you even go to the barn in flip flops? I've gone in sandals a couple times when I had no intention of riding, and it doesn't bother me when people ride bareback in sandals or even barefoot, but come on. That can't be comfortable. If I don't have my boots, I don't ride.

One more thing I wanted to add to the list.

Who was the genius that invented these? You'd have to be riding pigeon-toed not to jab your horse every two seconds. What's the point?

You can't even aid the horse without using the spurs. Plus that would be annoying as hell when you're walking. Knowing me, I would trip and fall flat on my face within ten seconds.

I guess there's a reason I've never seen anyone using these and I hope I never do.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Friday Featured Equipment

I thought since we see enough eyesores on this blog, we should have some good stuff to balance it out.

I saw a girl at a local horse event with half chaps similar to these, only even cooler. Instead of the snaps, they had silver buckles all down the sides. I should have asked her where she got them...

Anyway, they're called Portuguese half chaps and I LOVE them. Most of the ones I've seen retail for around $120. They would be a great birthday or Christmas present since that's not the kind of money most people spent on gators. Mine were about thirty bucks. lol

But seriously. Are those cool or what?

Sunday, September 6, 2009

I'm a Barbie girl...

In a Barbie world.

You can even get hot pink chaps.

I'm not sure about this pinkish-salmonish color.

I had to throw in the English bridle that looks like Pepto Bismol threw up all over it. I don't know how or why it's pink, but it is.

Click for larger view.

This is in India. The fact that this horse is rather emaciated and unfortunate looking and pulling a wagon that should be pulled by at least two horses is beside the point. I have no idea why they dyed him pink. And why do some of the ugliest horses in the world come from India?

Western apparel disasters... shield your eyeballs.

Seeing stars... I don't think these things will win you any brownie points from the judges.

They're after me Lucky Charms!

Thank you, J Schreiber!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

The gaudier, the better???

Yes, some of these breeches are ugly, but that's not why they're here.

They're here because they're made for infants and toddlers! Now why would anyone buy breeches for a baby? It seems really pointless. And a waste of money. I'm scratching my head on this one.

I've often seen showmanship and halter classes that combine English and western exhibitors, and the contrast is unbelievable. You have the refined, traditional English riders with their black or blue hunt coats, and then you have the western riders.

Some of their outfits are gorgeous, but some make you think, "did they get dressed in the dark, or are they colorblind?"

There's a fine line between flashy and gaudy. Like these custom jackets. These would be classified as gaudy.

This one reminds me of a biker jacket gone wrong. The colors and patterns are just... ew. It's too busy. It wouldn't be so bad if the jacket wasn't white.

This blouse is another one. The designer has a very... unique taste.

The zebra stripes and leopard spots aren't doing it for me.

However, this particular designer does have some beautiful pieces.

If I showed western, I would wear this jacket. I think it would look pretty sharp with a black hat and chaps.

What do you think?

Here's one last ugly one just for fun. Same ugly, different designer.

Fuchsia and lime = not a good combination. And this thing retails for $2,195. It's insane. I wonder what kind of pants one would wear with this? It said you can get matching chaps with it, but it didn't show pictures. That might be scary.

Stuff like that takes all the attention away from the horse and everyone's just staring at the rider and her clown suit.

You know there's someone out there who will pay two grand for it. Yuck.

First post, and I have a nice little gem for you.

I've been wanting to do this blog for a long time, and I'm just now getting around to it. It's kind of like the Tacky Tack blog, but centered more on the riders. Anyway, without further ado, here's the first entry.

Click for larger view.

Don't get me wrong, it's a cute horse and I know they're only riding around at home, but good Lord.

It looks like she might have forgotten her half chaps. And I'm not sure what's going on with the electric blue pants coupled with the highlighter pink shirt. I like bright colors, but I think the knee socks and jods threw the whole thing off.

Why bother with knee socks if you're not going to wear chaps or tall boots? I don't get it. :/

On a side note, if you have any pictures or links you'd like to have featured on this blog, don't hesitate to send them to me! Thanks in advance :D